One night in November of 2004, I retired to my room in Syracuse, NY and listened to the Thermals song “God
and Country” about ten times in a row. Fortunately, the party of failed businessmen that won reelection couldn’t
carry out their plan to get the Western world obliterated for the following four years, as much as it seemed like they were
trying. The fear that countless left-leaning college kids felt on the night that Bush edged past the almost-as-crappy John
Kerry was perfectly encapsulated in the frantic yelling vocals and brash, noisy sounds of Hutch Harris and the Thermals.
People criticize Hutch Harris for singing every song the same way, but the guy didn’t became one of the signature indie
vocalists of the decade by whispering or whipping out a falsetto. Hutch is Hutch, just like his bass playing partner in crime
Kathy is Kathy, and whoever they had playing drums for them at the time is that guy.
As expansive and high-concept
as their follow-up “The Body, The Blood, The Machine” was, I feel like Fuckin A is quintessential Thermals,
with the power trio exploring hyperkinetic love songs (“Let Your Earth Quake, Baby”), modulating guitar use (“How
We Know”), and unabashed sloppy feedback (“Our Trip,” among others). Naturally, they do it all in well under
a half an hour, and top it off with a title that elicits pleasant memories of Dietrich Bader with a mullet.
Raw and exciting; no complaints here.
OI THERE! WE’RE MCLUSKY! AND WE’RE BETTER THAN YOU! WHAT’S
THAT? 3 WELSH GUYS MAKING THAT STATEMENT TO AN ANONYMOUS READER WOULD BE ABSURD? WELL FUCK YOU, YOU WANKER! YOU PROBABLY
LISTEN TO THESE BANDS WHO PLAY ON 30 FOOT TALL STAGES AND HAVE THEIR HAIR DONE BY UNICORNS. THAT’S RIGHT, I SAID UNICORNS,
CUNT!
OY! OY! WHERE ARE Y’GOING? GET TH’FOOK BACK HERE! YOU BANDS AND YOUR FANS ALL MAKE US FOOKIN’
SECK. WE DON’T CARE IF YOU LIKE US, AND IF YOU HAVE ANY DOUBT, LET OUR POWERPOP RAVAGE YOUR WAX-CLOGGED BRAIN-CANALS,
WANK-FEST! WE HAVE A SONG CALLED “LIGHTSABRE COCKSUCKING BLUES” WHERE WE YELL ABOUT TOO MUCH FORNICATION, THAT
WILL KICK YOUR BRAIN OUT OF YOUR ARSE, AND THAT’S JUST THE FIRST TRACK, PUFFDA!
THAT’S RIGHT, YOUR MUM STEALS BALLPOINT PENS AND THEN PROBABLY
STARS IN PORNS. WHY DO WE KNOW THAT? BECAUSE WE’RE MCLUSKY, ARSE-HAT!! IF IT WEREN’T FOR THE ’86 WORLD CUP,
YOU WOULDN’T EVEN BE HERE RIGHT NOW!!
SO JUST GIVE UP, DETHINK TO SURVIVE IN YOUR PATHETIC LITTLE EXISTENCE YOU
CALL “Postmodern, uh, society” AND JOIN THE REST OF THE WORLD IN LOVING US AND BEING OUR BITCHES. MAN, IT’S
SO GREAT BEING MCLUSKY! WE PRACTICE FOR 20 MINUTES A DAY, AND DRINK AND FIGHT FOR THE REMAINING 1,420. YOU HAVE A FRIEND YOU
WANT ANTAGONIZED!? WE’LL ANTAGONIZE THE SHIT OUT OF THEM FOR A SMALL FEE, AND THEN RIGHT A SONG ABOUT HOW THEY KILL
COWBOYS OR SOMETHING. YEAH, THAT SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT!! ROIGHT!
(cough) Okay, look, guys, we’re not really as over-the-top,
tight, or abrasive as our music sounds, but we’re just singing about shit we know, ok? To Hell with Good Intentions,
indeed. Sure, Steve Albini's production gives our music the razorblade-edge that we were looking for, but we’re not
bad guys or anything. We just get a kick out of coming off that way. Plus, we’re good, sharp as a tack, and we know
it. Let’s put out one more album, then break up and reform as Future of the Left. Sound good?
By the beginning of this decade, The Roots were well in place as the most
mainstream and successful cornerstone antithesis to what was (at the time) perceived as shortsighted, materialistic, bitchesnmoney
black culture. Things Fall Apart was the critical and commercial smash in 1999 that the band (and the world, for
that matter) was waiting for, and when Jay-Z won the ‘King of the Mountain’-type battle to get to the top of the
hip-hop world around that time, he wanted the world to see him in front of The Roots. So, he did an episode of MTV Unplugged
that, while the network had long since abandoned the music television format, made almost as much of an impact as Kurt Cobain’s
“I’m going to kill myself” special in 1994. Bandleader and top-5-alive drummer ?uestlove didn’t seem
content for his band to merely sit behind Hova, so they needed to match Things Fall Apart, except come even further
out of left field to make it count.
Phrenology, in its title alone, is a black power statement (pseudoscience
from the 19th century used to justify racism, etc.). It was also the first time I heard old-school DC hardcore funneled directly
into funk and soul. No one, and I mean, no one, could have predicted the Minor/Brains homage of “!!!!!!!” to segue
into the laid-back groove of “Sacrifice.” And Nelly Furtado shows up there, too! That would be like asking Karl
Denver to sing with the Happy Mondays. (Waaaiiittt a minute…) Actually, it's not that bizarre.
Philly spoken word artist Ursula Rucker’s “WAOK (Ay) Rollcall” is another case of The Roots
shoving good/true hip-hop down listeners' throats. That’s akin to the people playing comedians in “Funny People”
wearing Redd Foxx T-shirts and having comedian posters everywhere, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s good.
And the singles from Phrenology are still among the band’s best, especially the Cody Chesnutt-fronted ‘2.0’
retooling of “The Seed.” The dynamite, driving, “Thought @ Work” (which immediately follows Rucker’s
rollcall) contains samples of the Sugarhill Gang and the Fat Boys. And of course, you can’t go wrong with Talib “Quality”
Kweli making the obligatory appearance on “Rolling with Heat.” It’s easy to forget that Black Thought is
a highly underrated MC, since the crew of guest stars (and even his own bandmates’ afros) overshadow him, but no one
holds the disparate, at times unfocused but never uninteresting, tracks together here better than Thought.
Despite
a pair of decent if not great follow-ups that filled out this decade, The Roots remain massive and important, even if playing
behind Jimmy Fallon isn’t quite as rewarding as playing behind Shawn Carter. Actually, it can be, since they look at
lot cooler by comparison.
Why does Larry Johnson look like he's wearing a diaper?
TDC's best of the decade in music, featuring
selections by me, Ted (who named the project, naturally), and a variety of denizons in DC, New Orleans, and elsewhere. There's still plenty of time if you want in...
I'm contributing to some other music blogs like ZME, who are currently compiling their "Best of the 00's Lists" as well. So check those out.
I'm going
to start my countdown soon. I can't decide if I'm starting with albums or songs (both singles and album tracks here). But
a couple of ground rules (at least for my list - the others included don't have to necessarily follow it). I'll be listing
my top 25 favorite albums, and top 100 favorite songs from the decade. All had to have
been released after January 1, 2000 (i.e. if it was recorded before then it can slide so long as it's not a long-lost recording,
etc.). Also, no songs from the Top 25 albums can be included on the Top 100 songs list. It made it easier, since there
are way too many great songs and this helped me a lot.
Artist of the decade? Who knows! Thanks for the photo, Stereogum!
Alright. Looking forward to it.
COUPLE OTHER THINGS
If you're from DC, below the age of 90 and don't live in a cave
(are there any caves around here?) you probably know about the Bentzen Ball this weekend. Definitely worth checking out, especially shows heavy on the local DC people linked on the bottom right of this
page...
Also, I'm not going to say Weezer are up to their old tricks, but their latest single is pretty fantastic. It's easily in
the top 5 songs they've churned out since "Pinkerton." I'd embed the video for it but this site builder kind of
blows and won't let me. So just click on the picture of Rivers Cuomo kissing Odette Yustman's hand and enjoy.
I'm about to update the shows and send out some emails about this, but the Altercation Punk Comedy Tour is rolling through the Sidebar in Baltimore next Monday and I'm opening for them. Rock and roll music.
Speaking of which, in case anyone hasn't
seen this, I give you all, the way rock n' roll is meant to be played, Exhibit A:
I don't have an exhibit B handy, but it's pretty easy to find one.
Just do your homework.
But this site is going to get crushed by music and lists and stuff soon, so stay tuned. For
now, come out to the Sidebar next Monday night! And come out to 11th St. Lounge Open Mic night in Arlington, tonight.
8pm, Free, high quality entertainment.
Happy Friday, everyone. We're over a week into ROCKtober now, and lots of stuff is a-brewin'. Particularly,
the following:
ALTERCATION PUNK COMEDY TOUR, 10/26/09 at the Sidebar in Baltimore (Performing)
Taglines
Comedy, 10/27/09 at Michael's Pub in Columbia, MD (Performing)
Hexagon Writer's Meeting, 10/28/09 at the Lab School
in NW DC (Running)
The Copyrights, 11/4/09 at the Sidebar in Baltimore (Watching)
Sandy Spring One-Act Festival,
11/13-15/09 (Performing)
More details on those, soon. For now, something more important. It has come to my attention
that Philly Flyers forward Scott Hartnell has recently acquired the title "Mullet King of Philadelphia." This is
concerning to me and thousands of other believers in John Kruk. What do the actual athletes think of this? Let's go to the
tape.
[Transcribed by Jefferson Davis]
Kruk: Hey, Scottie. You there? Hartnell: Yeah, who is this? Kruk: It's me, John Kruk! You know!
Big John! The Krukmeister? Hartnell: I feel like you made those nicknames up for yourself. Anyway, what's up? We
just lost to the Penguins, so I'm gonna head home and be with my incredibly skinny, hot hockey wife. Kruk: Way
to go, man! You f#*k her and you f#&k her good! Hartnell: I'm not sure how to respond to that. I'm not gonna
lie. Kruk: Hey, you played a good game tonight, Scottie. Haha, man, remember when Marc-Andre Fleury tried to grab
your stick 'cause he didn't have one? Hartnell: Um..yeah, I was there. He was trying to grab my stick.
Kruk: What a little bitch! Haha. He'll never be as cool as you. Hartnell: Well, he's got a Stanley Cup ring and
I don't. So... you know. Kruk: Hey, I never won a World Series ring! Came close in '93, wouldn't you know! Hartnell: John, what are you calling about? Can we just get to the point? It's late and I'm tired. Kruk: Okay,
this is kind of difficult for me. It seems like, you know, people talk, and some people have been calling you... Hartnell:
What are you talking about? Kruk: Well, certain trends start, especially with the news media being the way it is,
and we live in an age of- Hartnell: John, I will break onto the set of baseball tonight and take a dump on your
desk. Kruk: Okay, it's that people are calling you the "Mullet King of Philadelphia." Hartnell:
.... Kruk: ... the Mullet King of Philadelphia! Hartnell: I heard you the first time. Kruk:
And I just thought that, you know, your mullet hasn't had quite the same impact on the city as mine did, and still continues
to, in a sense. Hartnell: Are you out of your f#(king mind? You're going to call me about that at 11pm? Kruk:
This isn't a game, Scottie. This isn't a game! You know how hard I had to work to earn that title? Hartnell: You
got signed by the Phillies, and let your hair grow the way it naturally seems to? Kruk: Shut up! Shut up! My career
at Baseball Tonight is hanging by a thread! You hockey players don't understand how hard it is to get up and play every day
for 162 days! That mullet was part of the badge I wore for- Hartnell: Wait, didn't you retire because you got sick
of playing? Kruk: ... No? Hartnell: Didn't you leave a game, and retire, to go eat at the Sizzler? Kruk: I don't know what you're talking about. Hartnell: Look, I've gotta go, John. Come by Wachovia sometime, we
can chat. But the Mullet title is mine. Call it a Mulletitle. That's funny. Kruk: You don't know how good you have
it? I had to eat three cheese steaks a day from Geno's to get the proper physique to support my hairstyle! And I'm lactose
intolerant. Hartnell: Okay, I'm calling bullsh*t on that. Kruk: You want to listen to me drink some milk? Hartnell: You're a genuinely strange person, does anyone ever tell you that? Kruk: Give me back the Mulletitle!
It's all I had. ESPN doesn't even pay me! I still owe Peter Gammons 25 more jowel massages in exchange for my job. Hartnell:
That's disgusting. Peter Gammon (in background): Come on, Krukkie! The mudflaps needs a rubbin! Kruk: Coming!
You think about what I said, Scottie. Hartnell: I don't really want to.
Not really. I'm scrounging for reasons to justify the existence of this website, at least for the time
being. I'm way too busy to write anything this week, and since I have to focus on stuff for ZMEMusic and possibly others TBA,
entries for this have fallen by the wayside. I need to figure out how to go and erase old blogs, too. Should probably look
into that.
Here are some entertaining things. First, David Cross in full-on redneck mode on a life raft, gives
his NSFW soliloquoy on "Mr. Show."
Also, somehow, the Redskins are 2-2. They were blessed by members of a good team at
their game this past Sunday... Tap of the stick to Japersrink and CooleyClub or something like that on YouTube.
Stay tuned for some chicanery at 6:27.
[tws]
People criticize Hutch Harris for singing every song the same way, but the guy didn’t became one of the signature indie
vocalists of the decade by whispering or whipping out a falsetto. Hutch is Hutch, just like his bass playing partner in crime
Kathy is Kathy, and whoever they had playing drums for them at the time is that guy. 
[tws]
It begins!
And the singles from Phrenology are still among the band’s best, especially the Cody Chesnutt-fronted ‘2.0’
retooling of “The Seed.” The dynamite, driving, “Thought @ Work” (which immediately follows Rucker’s
rollcall) contains samples of the Sugarhill Gang and the Fat Boys. And of course, you can’t go wrong with Talib “Quality”
Kweli making the obligatory appearance on “Rolling with Heat.” It’s easy to forget that Black Thought is
a highly underrated MC, since the crew of guest stars (and even his own bandmates’ afros) overshadow him, but no one
holds the disparate, at times unfocused but never uninteresting, tracks together here better than Thought.
Why does Larry Johnson look like he's wearing a diaper?
