[tws]

Myspace and Facebook surveys are ridiculous. Just to see if I would actually get any appropriate or funny answers, I decided to take one that implored my friend Sarah to shuffle her music library and put down the song's title for the answer and then attempt to justify it. Wow. My run-through with my music library resulted in about 4 or 5 titles that functioned as anything resembling answers, no matter how ironically imposed.

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
   “Armchair” – Avail (I believe a retarded person may say this in response to that question)
2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
   “Try a Little Harder” – The Fi-Dels
3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? “Peter Brady” – Screeching Weasel (What the fuck?)
4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
   “Cavalier Eternal” – Against Me (The only awesome result on this).
5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
   “Pots and Pans” – Les Savy Fav (Maybe I can get a job washing dishes for a king or something).
6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
   “Christine’s a Lesbian” – Cletus (That knowledge gets me out of bed in the morning.)
7. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
   “I Wanna Be Naked” – Screeching Weasel (That's kind of fucked up, iTunes shuffle function.)
8. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
   “Cigarette Ashes” – Jimmy Conwell (I don’t smoke, iTunes shuffle function)
9. WHAT IS 2+2?
   “You See the Trouble with Me” – Barry White
10. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
    “Cliché” - Sebadoh
11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
    “Halley’s Waitress” – Fountains of Wayne
12. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
    “If Only You Knew” – Wes Mann
13. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
    “Rockin’ It” – Dee-Jay Punk-Roc (I can't argue with this).
14. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
    “I Can’t Be Right” – Chinese Telephones
15. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
    “The Ice of Boston” – The Dismemberment Plan (I think that almost any other D-Plan song would work for this, somewhat. ANY OTHER)
16. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
    “Diet Coke” – J Church
17. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
    “My Spine! My Spine! My Spine!” – combatwoundedveteran (Nothing like some distortion-heavy Florida grindcore to ease my grieving relatives' pain.)
18. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
    “Bees” – Math the Band (Only if Kevin had entitled the song "Beard of...")
19. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
    “Ants” – Jimes (I grows ‘em! I trains 'em!)
20. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
    “Go go go go go go” – Math the Band (I only have the one Math the Band album. Bad, iTunes shuffle function, bad!)
21. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
    “Ill in the Head” – Dead Kennedys

In conclusion, bring yourself and your iPods to The Comedy Spot tonight, if you're around!! 7:30 start time and more free than the Styx song "Sail Away," which is not on my iPod, but does include a famous reference to Dennis DeYoung's necessity to be free.

[tws]



Nothing quite like quoting the Simpsons ad nauseum while waiting the requisite 15 minutes for a Metro train, late on a Thursday night.

Thanks to everyone and whatever non-human entities contributed to the success of the kickoff night of "Hot Broth Comedy." It was a great show and we look forward to establishing it as a great open mic. If you haven't yet joined the facebook group, do the honors here.

Have a great weekend, check out The Sideshow tonight or tomorrow night at the Playbill Cafe on 14th St. (Details on the right side).

I forgot I made this graphic while in college. YOU'RE WELCOME:

[tws]

How would one characterize the excitement around here lately? Ridiculous! We've got a brand new president and can exhale. I walked by the White House today, and actually smiled. We got a good guy living in there, and things feel great around here. Even the millions of people who clogged DC beyond belief over the last few days were all pretty cool. Now back to work...

Speaking of THINGS, Jake Young and I are kick-starting a brand new weekly, free as hell, DIY, all-ages open mic in Arlington. It's called...



You like it? Here are the details. If you're young, have tons of friends (or a handful of cool friends, like I did as that unpopular high schooler), and are interested in trying out stand-up, this is the place for you. Pros, Amateurs, and First-Times are all welcome! Our first featured weekly comic is Jimmy Merritt.

HOT BROTH COMEDY - THURSDAY
7:30 PM - 9:30?
THE COMEDY SPOT
BALLSTON COMMONS MALL, 3RD FLOOR
VENUE INFO
METRO: BALLSTON-MU (ORANGE LINE)
QUESTIONS? HIT IT.

[anne fasanella, via sister britt]

I was going to bitch about the Caps' insurmountable 3-game losing streak, or bitch about the lack of respect that great bands like Dillinger Four get in between periods when the music press considers punk 'cool,' but my sister just passed this onto me, and it's pretty neat and infinitely less whiny. It gets super spiritual in the end, but the woman who wrote it has that license. Hope you're all having great weeks so far. - Ty

A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousands of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed the musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule.

A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk.

A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars!!!

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston and the seats average $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing some of the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?



STOP, LOOK, and LISTEN... LIFE IS a GiFT each day. LIVE IN THE PRESENT MOMENT, and enjoy the DETAILS of all that is around you created by God. STOP and LIVE EACH DAY with gratitude. Appreciate your true treasures and precious moments in life, for tomorrow it may be too late to enjoy what was given to you, each hour of the day, as ' a genuine gift ' from above.

[tws]

That's right! It's everyone's favorite indie rock guitar virtuoso, forced to move in with jovial Washington Capitals owner and AOL exec, with hilarity ensuing! It's Leo & Leonsis!



Right out there in the hills of McLean,
An odd coupla Teds that'll drive you insane!
One's the top owner of AOL stock,
the other's the king of indie rock!
So similar in name,
wackiness is the game,
You got Stanley Cup dreams with plans all drawn,
and asking "where have all the Rude Boys gone?"
Yes that's riiiiiiiiiighttttt...
The Philly Flyers can eat our balls!

ANNOUNCER: Leo & Leonsis is filmed in front of a live studio audience. Who are bound and gagged, for some reason.

SCENE ONE: THE TEDS' KITCHEN. LEO IS SITTING, ARMS CROSSED. LEONSIS WALKS IN.

LEONSIS: Why the long face, Ted?

LEO: You know exactly why, Ted. I want you to start serving more vegetarian and vegan options at Caps games! And where the hell were your boys last week during the rally for Darfur?

LEONSIS: They were playing, Ted.

LEO: Playing, right. Playing with my NERVES!

[Canned Laughter]

LEONSIS: No, they had a game. Against the New York Rangers.

LEO: Well the Caps may as well be called the... Washington... Strangers, because that's how they feel to me!

LEONSIS: Ted, you're being ridiculous. I thought you were a DC resident for a long time!

LEO: I was! But I've moved on, Ted!

LEONSIS: Shut up, Ted. While you're living here with me and the Leonsis clan, we're going to need you to do three things, per our agreement. Take out the trash, rake the leaves, and buy stock in AOL.

LEO: Always with the AOL stock, Ted! You never shut up about it! I remember the 90's, playing in Chisel. Everyone and their grandmother used AOL! Well, now it's 2009, and ONLY PEOPLES GRANDMOTHERS use AOL!

[Canned Laughter]

LEONSIS: Very funny, wise-ass. Is that in one of your songs?

LEO: Actually, it was  hidden track on 'Hearts of Oak.'

LEONSIS: Oh... I guess I didn't listen through to the end.

LEO: I was kidding. And you never DID listen to 'Hearts of Oak' at all, did you? Or 'Shake the Sheets?' Honestly, Ted, I feel like ever since 'The Tyranny of Distance' we've grown further and further apart.

LEONSIS: Well, at least the album title was apt.

[Canned laughter]

LEO: Why, you...

[Leo pounces on Leonsis and they fight on the kitchen floor for a minute before they both bump into the wall, and Leonsis' giant portrait of Alex Ovechkin falls off the wall and knocks them both out. At that moment, Donald Brashear comes running in with an open laptop in his arms.]

BRASH: Hey, Ted and Ted, I'm having trouble logging into my AOL account and I was wondering if you could... aw, crap, not this again.

[Canned Laughter, the whole audience suddenly starts crying and the credits roll. 'PRODUCED BY HENRY WINKLER'].

[tws]

A few announcements to make, things to draw your alls attention to.

I've posted the special from last week on the RADIO page. Check it out, listen, love. I may index the "TDC Interviews" on the page soon. It definitely needs a bit of a facelift. But either way, it's all there, and plenty is up on the podcast, too.

In sporting news, The Caps didn't straight-up rape the Flyers like I (and most of DC) were hoping, at Verizon last night, but they did outduel them in a thrilling grudge match. Jose Theodore snubbed all three of the top Flyers snipers in the shootout, thereby officially pulling himself out of my "suck" file. Now he's in the "I can probably see this dude lifting the Cup" file, if you were wondering.

I love this clip of Sergei Federov handing it to Dave Feldman from FOX5, especially after the 1:13 mark. If anyone knows a hockey town, it's a guy who spent the entire Clinton era playing in Detroit.

Why would I ever tune into the patently, insultingly unfunny Eliot in the Morning on DC101? If a member of the Caps were on, of course! Tomorrow morning Mr. Brooks Laich is elevating the show to listenability at 8:30. I may tune in a couple of minutes late to make sure I don't hear the ending of the daily 'Wokka Celebritiez Wokka Fart Girls LOL' segment.

I'm not a youth by any means anymore, but I'd recommend checking out Positive Youth Fest up at St. Stephens Church on 16th St NW. This church is punk as fuck, and PYF this year is showcasing a number of cool bands and seminars. It's happening on the 16th and 17th of January, it's all-ages, drug-free, and I think it's only a $5 donation...

Damn, is this my first post of 2009? I didn't realize. This year's off to a great start, so far. Hopefully Obamauguration's not too much of a mess. I'll probably write more on each of these subjects in the near future, but here's what I'm waiting for 2009 to bring to DC:

1. A Stanley Cup.
2. Punk shows. Lots of them. And GOOD ones.
3. A plethora of new comedy venues, including at least one free(/cheap) all-ages one.
4. A climate shift that prevents it from fucking pouring rain during near-freezing temperatures.
5. Less bitterness from me.
6. A entry on TDC Productions that doesn't trail off because the writer can't figure out how to sum it up.