[tws]

I hate it when relatively quiet nights I've been looking forward to for some time come to a close. I'm going to be stubborn and stay up until the crack of dawn. That's just how I roll.

This is pretty phenomenal. And wait for about 0:52, you impatient creep.



Come to the Laughing Lizard tomorrow night. Good times per usual. Thanks to everyone for all of the support in what were probably the three best comedy shows I've been a part of- this past Monday at 11th St. Lounge, the Improv on Tuesday, and the Georgetown Bulldog Alley Comedy Lounge deal on Thursday.

[tws]

I got into a great conversation tonight that touched upon the prospect and conception of traditions. Whenever anyone makes a conceited effort to start one, that instantly cheapens the "tradition" in question beyond the point of relevance, and it rarely if ever gets off of the ground. Three years of having plastic traditions shoved down my throat at Syracuse University helped me realize that. Freshman year wasn't too bad; there were a number of little things that hovered in the student body's subconscious, but by the time I was a sophomore a few armchair liberals in the Student Activities Office decided to invent a few traditions and had enough of a sense of hubris to believe that the student body would fall for their bullshit.

Which brings me to my point of contention. Ever since I moved to DC, I've gradually become a bigger Capitals fan. I've had the good fortune to attend a big handful of their games in the past couple of seasons, and it's been exciting watching them grow back into something resembling a professional hockey team since the lockout. No matter how well or how poorly Ovechkin & Co. may perform, the lowpoint of every single game at Verizon for me is when they hold up the game to pump of the jam "The Hockey Song."

For those of you unfamiliar with "The Hockey Song," you guys are fortunate. It is the NHL's opportunistic rethreading of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame." Allow me to break down a few fundamental differences between these two songs.

"Take Me Out to the Ballgame" was a tin pan alley song written in 1908 by Jack Norworth, inspired by an ad that he saw for his favorite team, the New York Giants.



"The Hockey Song" was written in 1973 by Stompin' Tom Conners, a Canadian folk singer who I'm sure had a long, illustrious career, but in this case wrote lyrics that made George Thorogood seem like Leonard Cohen.



The Ottawa Senators, when they first popped up as an expansion franchise in 1992, began to play it at their games, and of course, Maple Leaf coach Pat Burns, being Pat Burns, wanted it to play in Toronto, too. Despite the fact that I don't recall hearing "The Hockey Song" for the first 21 years of my life, I can't avoid dealing with it at least once in the span of a two and a half hour game today.

There were all sorts of things the NHL could have done to restir fan enthusiasm as the '04-'05 strike wound down. I've been an NHL fan for my entire life, and hockey is easily my favorite sport. I would even make the argument that its the best sport, but that's an entirely different entry. And some Redskins fan will probably get offended and start crying over it. Anyway, a very good friend of mine remarked upon the crowd babysitters in the a/v booth at the Caps game playing "The Hockey Song," that it gets people excited. Sure, it may make a couple of kids happy, and make awkward couples on dates happy that they don't have to talk to each other for another two minutes. But you know what actually makes hockey fans excited? Watching a decent fucking hockey team! (If you said "fights," you need to go out to more games. You are not a southern telemarketer trying to feign something in common with me. Yes, that happened to me and I was too nice of a guy to just hang up). Hockey will never be as popular as baseball; it doesn't need to be. It will always have the Dit Clappers, Eddie Shores, and Hobey Bakers that measure up to the Lou Gehrigs, Mickey Mantles, and Joe Jacksons in the annals of athletic history. All the NHL needs to do is not dwell in false nostalgia, contract a few questionable franchises, and push the hell out of the Alex Ovechkins, Sidney Crosbies, and Phil Kessels. All of the best players in the league are younger than me, and I'm not even too old. That's remarkable enough.

So, what I'm essentially trying to say is, "The Hockey Song" isn't really false nostalgia... it just annoys the shit out of me.