[transmission from... Tyler Sonnichsen]
I've been having a little trouble getting into the Christmas spirit. This is strange, because for the last 23 years of my
life, buying directly into the post-Thanksgiving nostalgia wave hasn't been difficult. People complain constantly about the
commercialization of Christmas, but nobody's holding a gun to our heads forcing us to buy anything, and Santa Claus himself
was ostensibly a corporate figurine from the get-go. I always viewed the ubiquitous Christmas ads as just one piece of what
Christmas means in American today. So why haven't I been able to wade into the mental sea of sugarplums, yule logs, children
sitting by the fire playing with toy trains, etc. to any serious degree?
Well, for one, Londonbeat's 1990's classic
song-about-nothing "I've Been Thinking About You" pumping out of the XM Radio as I write this isn't helping. That would be
a funny compilation, wouldn't it?
Songs About Nothing. I couldn't even begin that least out of fear of never being
able to stop. Time/Life's probably already getting on that one; just conceptualize Whitney Houston's discography with a smattering
of "Hollaback Girl" and, to not be sexist, Bryan Adams. Except for "Summer of '69"- that one was pretty good. Not very Christmas-y,
but... now where was I?
To, essentially, spite myself, I'm going to provide a few suggestions for adequate ways in
which to get yourself into the holiday spirit. I'll take care to represent both sides of my heritage, too.
First off,
watch "A Christmas Carol" starring Alaistair Sim.
I wrote about this last year, and I'd say it all again this year because this movie is goddamn great. And of course I can't leave out "A Christmas Story"
with Peter Billingsley, despite two inevitable distractions that the film's accrued recently:
1) That stupid f'ng Vonage
(?) commercial that skewers the squeezes the charm into a haughty dollar sign, and
2) This conversation: [CONFUSED
PERSON: "Didn't that kid grow up and do porn?" YOU: "No, that was the kid in "The Toy" with Richard Pryor. Ralphie became
a vet or something." CONFUSED PERSON: "Hmm. Are you sure? Cause I heard he did porn...] Also, it won't hurt to check out "A
Charlie Brown Christmas," "A Garfield Christmas" and "A Muppet Christmas Carol" (a perfect twist on the Dickens story, with
Statler and Waldorf appearing as Jacob and Robert Marley...absolutely brilliant).
For the Yids out there: If your name happens to be Judah and/or Maccabee, go apeshit on 'the man.' You've got every excuse.
Lead your people to freedom. Even if "your people" are a pair of coworkers, and "freedom" is Chipotle during your lunch break,
make it happen. And get the chicken, of course, never the pulled pork. Bonus points if you buy a Burrito Bol that stays good
for eight days.
Not to ignore my Jewish heritage, but back with Christmas in mind, I don't think any holiday delves
a bigger schism between movies and music. Granted, there have been plenty of eggs laid by studios. One that comes to mind
is "Christmas with the Kranks," which nobody but Christian fundamentalists liked for some reason. (It'd be funny if they looked
at the film for what it was- soulless commercialism, and realized the inherent irony. Also, Christmas has more to do with
paganism than Jesus, but that's a whole nuther entry deserving of a more intelligent writer than I.
If pressed, there is some selected Christmas music I'd recommend.
Oi to the World: Xmas with the Vandals isn't that
great as far as Vandals albums go, but I enjoy it. The title track (later covered by No Doubt for a good cause), "A Gun for
Christmas," "My First Xmas (as a Woman)" and their own cover of the Boys/Yobs' damn near obscene classic "C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S"
formulate a decent collection of Christmas songs that doesn't take anything too seriously.
According to Pitchfork, Vince Guaraldi Trio's soundtrack to
A Charlie Brown Christmas was just reissued.
Check that out. Please don't buy it from Starbucks, though.
I got into work today to find an annual mix CD that a coworker made for everyone. I was impressed. What's even more impressive
is how genuinely good this compilation is.
Xmas with the Supans 2006
- Troy Hess - "Xmas on the Moon"
- Traditional Holiday Zzzzzzoooop!
- NQ Arbuckle - "Xmas in Hell"
- The Jellybricks - "We'll Be Together"
- Johnny Bravo's Message to Santa
- Marc Broussard - "On Santa's Way Home"
- Aimee Mann - "Calling on Mary"
- The Xmas Jug Band - "Ain't that Cold?"
- Jim Varney on Christmas Trees from "Ernest Saves Christmas"
- The Bradburys - "I Love It When It Snows"
- MU330 - "Xmas Merry Xmas"
- Kay Martin - "Xmas Balls"
- John McMullan - "(Gimme a) Kiss for Xmas"
- Wierd Al Yankovic's Xmas Greeting
- Marcia Ball & Tommy Castro - "Xmas Everyday"
- Amped - "We Three Kings"
- A PSA Parody about Ice
- Judith Owen - "Xmas with the Devil"
- Blind Lemon Jefferson - "Xmas Eve Blues"
- Dragnet - "Xmas Cards"
- Bomboras - "Lil' Drummer Boy"
- Diana Krall - "Jingle Bells"
- Clip of The Year Santa Got Lost from 'The Simpsons'
- Jim Babjak's Buzzed Meg - "Xmas Morning"
- Christina Marrs - "Silent Night"
- Country Dick Montana & Candye Kane - "Let's Put the X Back in Xmas" [Someone had to record this song, and I'm glad they
did it.]
- Mr. Magoo's Christmas from 'The Simpsons' [Hilarious]
- Fat Daddy - "Fat Daddy"
- Sufjan Stevens - "Come On! Let's Boogie to the Elf Dance!"
- Star Trek Xmas Greetings
- Heart - "Blue Xmas"
- Dwight Twilley - "Xmas Night"
- Sally Struther's saying something about the Xmas Legend
- O Holy Night [not sure where this is from]
- Handel's "Messiah" [Of course].
That's it for now. Hopefully you're coming out to
Poonanza III tonight at the
Warehouse Theater to catch a great comedy show, along with the world premiere of a new TDC short film I stayed up until the wee hours of the
morning to finish. If you're not around tonight, I'll get it on here by early next week. We're keeping the actual topic under
wraps, but as a preview, here's me and Jermaine Fowler looking horrified on a couch.
Have a great weekend, everybody! Good luck with all of the shopping, and keep a clear head. Unless you're shopping for me,
then get all sorts of cool things.
