[transmission from... Adam Crowley]

I had an experience last night.

I was standing outside the office around midnight smoking a cigarette when a motorcycle rode by.

This was no ordinary biker. This was a shady-looking guy on a Harley with a vintage 80's boombox strapped to the back of the bike.

Now, you may be thinking he was blasting Lynyrd Skynyrd or Slayer, but no.

He was blasting Phil Collins' "In the Air Tonight" out of his giant boombox riding down the street of Elk City. I've attached a picture of what this looked like for your own reference. Enjoy.

[transmission from... Tyler Sonnichsen]

Sorry I don't have a whole lot of time to write and ramble right now. I have to get to work to "earn money" so I can "eat," but regardless there are a few things I need to make mention of briefly.

Happy June, everyone! Not only is June the year's pinnacle for many, since school gets out for millions of kids nationwide, summer arrives in the northern hemisphere, and the Flag gets the attention it deserves in millions of awkward elementary school ceremonies on June 14th, but June stands a head and shoulders above any other month for two reasons.

First, it's National Gay Pride Month. Big ups to all my LGBT pals. Here's a picture of a Gay Pride Parade on Montreal, for those of you who are visual learners. And like Montreal.



In line with that, here's a fan site my buddy and fellow DC comic Chris put together for local weatherwoman Sue Palka. I mean it in the most complimentary sense when I say that it is probably the gayest thing I've ever seen. So, big ups to Chris and Zach! Thanks for treading into the waters of Sue Palka worship that we've all been staring at with trepidation for so long.

Well, the whole Gay Pride thing is well and good, but honestly, I already knew that before today and have prepared a feature or two pertaining to that for the coming week. What really sparked and pleasantly surprised me was the irrevocable fact that June, the sixth month of the Roman Calendar, that irrepressible start of summer, is

MOTHERFUCKIN' NATIONAL ACCORDION AWARENESS MONTH, BITCH!

I'm not lying. It's not National Accordion Month. Accordion Awareness Month. Working hard to increase public knowledge of the existence of Accordions as a vital musical entity. Could June be any cooler? The answer is: only if the government declared June "don't work and get paid for it all month" month, because then I could keep on writing here and not leave you all hanging. But that's the way it's gotta be. See you shortly.

[transmission from... Tyler Sonnichsen]


Few pieces of technology have a subculture of loathe-dom that goes so unnoticed as the copying machine. Nowadays, everyone complains about his or her cell phone (“I have Cingular, which is absolutely great unless you need to make or receive a call.”- Joe Robinson, at Wiseacres outside DC last week), their computers, their cars, their PDAs, goddamn iPods, even massage chairs.

But no machine, I now go on record saying, has ever elicited references to both a post-“Bad” Michael Jackson hit and a live-action/animation film in the span of ten seconds.

So here’s the scene set: I’m at work, pumping the copy machine to its maximum capacity with the latest issue of Analog Magazine, a monthly catalog of esoteric science fiction novelettes, and after about 56 pages, a piece of copy paper refused to slide out and join its friends in the tray. As this happened, my enthusiastic friend Mike walked by, playing with his beard and Jew-fro. (Ref: this).


“Hmm, looks like there’s a paper jam.”

“Haha, paper jam.”

“Yeah.”

A few moments pass.

“Like Space Jam.”

“Oh man, with Bugs Bunny and Michael Jordan.”

We laugh.

“Yeah,” Mike continued, “Quite the movie.”

“Yeah,” I countered, “I was going to make a reference to it, but decided against it for a good reason. Honest to God, the first thing that popped into my head was that Michael Jackson song. The one where you can’t understand a single word he says aside from ‘Jam’ and Michael Jordan shows up in the video.”

“You probably won’t believe me, but I thought of that, too. I just thought it would be way too weird to mention.”

More obnoxious laughter.

“Oh, man. Then Heavy D shows up and raps!”

”Yes!! Nothing is complete without Heavy D.”

Whatever happened to Heavy D anyway? One minute, he’s providing the theme song for a highly successful sketch comedy, the next decade, he’s nowhere to be found. (That wasn’t part of our conversation, I’m just interjecting it now, as a friend of mine and I discussed the query at the baseball game that evening. The Nats won, which was cool. JAM!)

So now we come to the true essence of that word. Jam. You’ve got the condiment. You’ve got what musicians do when they’re trying to break through any obstacle, whether it’s the proverbial ice or writer’s block. Or, in the case of a (now immortalized) Jesse Johnson record, the word “jam” replaces “song” entirely. The word’s had a special connotation in the back of my mind ever since my friend John IM’d and called into Penguins Without Pants Radio on WERW last year loudly repeating it for some reason. (Listen to the clip here... the action begins about 7 minutes in…we were trying to auction off our member Dan Luddy…you’d want to bid, too).

I’m just putting this out there. ‘Jam’ is a vital part of our cultural fabric, and if you disagree, then you hate America. Or something. I wasn’t talking about the Michael Jackson song. There’s a reason no one listens to “Dangerous” anymore. And if you do, you hate America.

So I picked up Trainspotting on DVD on a quick stop by Revolution Records on Friday night. I hadn’t seen it in a few years, and I threw it in whilst eating dinner tonight, and two hours later I emerged a slightly changed man. I wasn’t intent on watching the whole thing but I couldn’t stop it. What a great film. Choose life. That’s your lesson for today. And jam!

COMING LATER THIS WEEK More information about the DVD "[Insert Context Here]" and an essay about the convergence of comedy and rock featuring words from the masters, Joe Jack Talcum and Rodney Anonymous of THE DEAD MILKMEN.