[transmission from... Tyler Sonnichsen]

A bunch of the usual scattershot stuff to write about. I don't want to let the cat out of the bag just yet, but we've got one ultra-special celebrity interview coming soon to the site. I won't reveal who it is, but just expect one of the most left-field surprises this site's ever had. Can you tell I'm excited?

So, tonight I'm taking part in Chris Barylick's Geek Comedy Tour 3000 Show at the Topaz Hotel in DC. It should be a great time. I've never really dressed the part, though like being a punk or anything along that vein, its all in the way you think. As any of you know me personally or read this site regularly (that is, those of you who know me personally know) I'm a big geek when it comes to certain things. Music, one. Specific TV shows, two.

My friend Jake and I caught They Might Be Giants at the 9:30 Club last night, unsurprisingly so. It didn't quite equal the wonder that was their October 26, 2001 performance at the Water Street Music Hall in Rochester, NY (which ranks, if someone forced me to choose..as in, at gunpoint, as the best show I've ever seen), the Johns were in great form, as well as 2/3 of the Dan band backing their 40+ year old asses up. It's always gratifying to see a band that's been a consistently great cosmic goof for as long as they've been still cranking out great new material. They played a ton of new stuff, but pulled out a bunch of classics with a heavy emphasis on their first album, which was cool. I wasn't expecting "Nothing's Gonna Change my Clothes" or "Rhythm Section Want Ad" but I shouldn't have gone in so pessimistic in the first place.

TMBG wedged into a perfect niche within the music community and have not budged ever since, even with the advent of numerous other fine "oddball" or "goofy" bands like Ween, Tenacious D, or Panic! at the Disco (because a band that shitty can't possibly be taking themselves seriously).

I've been trying to distill various strains of humor from within music, both popular, obscure, and a grey mixture of both. I mean, the last thing that anyone with a comedic bone in their body wants to do is have to cave and bash on Kevin Federline.

So, that's what I'm going to do, because THE MAN doesn't want me to. Or does he? There, now that I have all the hipsters confused, here's a list of things with more redeeming artistic value than Kevin Federline's aural holocaust (a sample of which can be heard at his myspace page here).

• Any novel with Fabio on the cover.
• Any novel with the woman in that photo with Fabio on the cover.
• Getting kicked squarely in the balls.
• Adultery
• That MPEG everyone linked to with the kitten doing ninja moves and getting plowed over by the bigger cat.
• John Ashcroft singing "Let the Eagle Soar"
• 'Roid Rage
• Anything pertaining to the WWE, NASCAR, or NAMBLA
• Your friend's old band from high school that played a bunch of house parties but never really went anywhere.

• The Super Bowl Shuffle (of which I own the 12" on vinyl, in case you doubted how awesome I truly am...I'll go cry now)
• Those songs that the Ying-Yang Twins didn't think were good enough to go on their last album.
• The Handlebar Club (This is not a joke)
• That girl who dips her hair in blood and paints a giant canvas with it.
• Any song by Andrew W.K. that somehow integrates the word "party" into its delicate fold.
• Your uncle who tried stand-up briefly after his divorce and failed miserably but still makes wise-ass comments nonstop at family gatherings before drinking himself to sleep.
• Larry the Cable Guy bootlegs.
• Having to live your life as this guy.
• Locust Abortion Technician. Not the Butthole Surfers' album...actually being a locust abortion technician.
• A drive-by shooting...on the moon.

Alright, that's all I've got. Half-assed, I know, but great things are on their way, I promise. Well, I'll do what I can. Peace out- Ty

[transmission from... Tyler Richardson]



Hello, TDC. Due to a few arguments had over the better side order (macaroni or mashed potatoes), two Tylers will do battle the only way they know how. Pistols at fifty paces. No, that was an option, but they both backed out. What they agreed upon was a comedy show.

For those of you that are unimaginative, that would be "Comedy Showzen." The rules are simple: Two dark gentlemen will host a competition the likes of which have never been seen. Each Tyler will have selected a team of people they deem sexable. Hopefully they will also be funny enough to help the team. There will be games, there will be sketches, there will be stand-up. And oh yes, .... I can't remember what goes there cause I haven't seen Saw 2 in a while.

Moving on.....

The crowd of onlookers will decide the winners and that team will live a full life. The others will be food for the massive spider monster "Trankula". She will feast for some time and the crops will be plentiful. Date, time, and dress code shall come on a later date, so stay tuned.

The threats made are very real, and if you choose you can get anxious for more, or go back to Alabama (fuckin' farmers). We'll be in touch, TDC....