[transmission from... Tyler Sonnichsen]

I don’t think I need to talk about how crazy this Holiday week was, but regardless of the fact that Christmas was almost a week ago, here is my diatribe on the greatest Christmas movie ever made- Scrooge starring Alastair Sim. Charles Dickens’ classic Victorian romantic novel A Christmas Carol has become possibly the best-known of all the holiday stories not taken directly from the Bible, but until director Brian Desmond Hurst adapted it for the screen, nobody had nailed it.

Sim, the quintessential onscreen Ebenezer Scrooge, played the part with such reverence for Dickens’ tragic character that we sympathize with him from almost the beginning. Never for a second is any character reduced to one dimension, especially since Hurst’s version beautifully spells out Scrooge’s life during his journey with the Ghost of Christmas past. We see every major change in his life, and in the world surrounding him, that leaves an emotional scar- the growth of industrial and commercial interests, his beloved sister’s death during childbirth, the loss of his true love Alice- all played with such perfect introspection and no pretentiousness whatsoever. Noel Langley’s script does not forget the vitally important sense of humor as well, injecting clever, perfectly paced dialogue throughout.

Hurst’s version also benefits greatly from the breathtaking cinematography, grandiosity, and excellent score. Victorian England lends itself to the ideal romantic fantasy story, and certain shots burn themselves into the back of your mind, never letting up, even as Scrooge’s transformation shakes the screen. Moments like when Scrooge greets Marley on his deathbed (above), as well as when, during his reformation on Christmas day, he appears at his nephew’s Christmas party to make amends, rank among my favorite movie scenes of all time. Both scenes, among many others from this film, are just as moving and entertaining at anytime of the year.

The reason that both this and A Christmas Story are so great is because they see far beyond the holiday itself. They build off the widely interpretable Christmas, and create wonderfully didactic stories that stay in our minds and hearts, as the Spirit of Christmas Present says, “not only one day of the year, but all three-hundred sixty-five.”

Alright, on that note, we’re going to tone down all of the Holiday stuff. Hope that Hanukkah winds up well for all of you celebrating, and everyone don’t forget to enjoy your last day of 2005. Unless anyone here squeezes something in before the fact, Happy New Year!

[transmission from... Tyler Richardson]

Christmas is a time of giving so I hope that we all gave a little something. I felt like crap because there's always the person that you didn't really have anything for and gave them some crap anyway. This year, for me anyway, that person was good ol' granny. She got what I can only describe as a "big ass log of Toblerone!" But kudos to Grandma cause she took it like a champ and didn't even attempt to call me on it. I think that even though I don't live at home anymore my gifts should still fit under the CHILD category. That way, when all people get from me is a CD they don't get that upset. "Oh lil' Tyler gave me a CD. Did he get his MBA yet?" I ate like food was sex and had sex like amish people do (meaning in silence and in still of the night). Overall it was a pretty bitchin' Christmas and now, only 11.5 months of agony before we taste heaven again.

As always, I have concocted a few things to make anyone's holiday as fulfilling as mine. Here goes:

• Steal the gift that was never given to you. Like that million dollars that you wanted. Kill a millionaire and take it. Spend it wisely you've only got a little while before someone's looking for you.
• Sing the U2 song "Elevation" really loudly and make eye contact for the "Woo-hoo" part.
• Pee on yourself in the middle of a good conversation.
• Throw coffee in the face of someone talking to an attractive woman. Then yell out that he was a mugger and have freaky sex with said victim.
• Tell three people that Satan is Lord and watch their reaction. Log it and send it to devohaven at cox.net and tell me how that went for you. I've gotten nothing but bad things but maybe someone will use it to get laid.
• Lastly, if you have someone special in your life tell them everything romantic that you've thought that you didn't say. No joke there, but sometimes we all need to know. And it doesn't take away from it that it's a special season, we all want to know if someone wants to go down on us.

We'll do this again soon so keep your ear to the ground, and remember "The More You Know..."