[transmission from: tyler richardson]

Hello again and this week I would like to draw your attention to the end of the world. With all the events that are currently going on it is hard for one not to say "Damn, this is the end of the world" or "God doesn't like us!" Nostradamus said that we will see the coming of the devils son and he could be right again. I call him George Bush. Not the old one, the retard. If I may go off topic for a second. Remember when the fat kid in class used to take your money, or the kid that lied all the time. The same kid who read like the words were moving. Would you elect this kid president? My point is as clear as Wayne Brady's sexuality.

There are some very important things that I think people should do before the apocalypse. First, gather round your parents and swear like Richard Pryor used to. It's just that last thing to say "I'm grown now!" Next, run through this quick to do list and have a ball:

• Kill someone.
• Eat pie....Lots of pie.
• Make plans with someone and then break them. This should make you feel important.
• Pray.
• Rob a bank.
• Do three of the five drugs that you've told yourself weren't really so bad.
• Repeat. Cause it really wasn't that bad was it?
• Have an orgasm. Hell have 10.
• And finally, try cannibalism. Something about forbidden fruit....

I'll get back with you all soon and enjoy these next few days like the were your last :)

[transmission from: tyler sonnichsen]

The following is a bit of a retrospective. I recently scanned a bunch of old cartoons I drew when I was in college, most of which were published in the Daily Orange. Soon, I’ll put a bunch up on the site so that you can all enjoy them at your leisure, but one cartoon in particular, I felt, needed a special presentation. In fact, more than just this one will probably show up on the front page here, but here is the first installment of a trip down comics memory lane. I published this installment of TDC Presents… (that was the name of my comic strip; I couldn’t think up anything better until I renamed it 'Hatful of Hollow' after a couple years) on 10/24/01, shortly before the Yankees choked to the Arizona Diamondbacks in the World Series. The afternoon that this ran in the D.O., I got an email that was so incredible and hilarious, I felt that I needed to share it with you all verbatim. So without further ado, I give you: THE FACTS MACHINE.

Date Sent: Wednesday, October 24, 2001 6:57 PM
From: Hugo ------ <--------@syr.edu>
To: twsonnic
Subject: D.O.

Alright yeah so I am usually a big fan of your comic "TDC Presents" in the D.O. but just today (Wednesday, October 24, 2001) I was reading it and it was the one about ther 'facts' machine instead of the fax machine. Alright bitch, here's the DEAL: The Yankees are the greatest sports franchise ever so you have no right to even think that they suck! What are you a Red Sox fan or even worse, a Mets fan! Your intelligence must be as high as your comics ratings, you have now OFFICIALLY hereby lost this reader. Thank you for your time, I'm out.
late.
- Juice

[transmission from: tyler sonnichsen]
The other week, I wound up at a birthday party somewhere in Fairfax. I guess it was a costume party, but I didn’t get the memo. Surrounded by some form of Renaissance Fair with alcohol, I sat, watching the birthday girl, whom I had known for about thirty minutes, open her gifts. While she opened the first few, I asked my friend who brought me to this party how they knew each other. My friend told me they met at George Mason University; she teaches dance, and the birthday girl in question teaches voice.
“Ah, cool,” I thought out loud, “the music program.”
Soon thereafter, the birthday girl yelled in excitement.
“The new Nickelback album!” she resounded as she took it out of the bag, “I’m a fan!”
As most of the party looked on, I sat there, not knowing what to think. My first gut reaction was along the lines of “She teaches music… but likes Nickelback. There’s something seriously wrong with this.” After all, were there any chord changes, musical innovation, or anything at all artistically redeeming that I was unaware of?
I could only arrive at one justification. After the stresses and pressure she faces during her long days at work, the last thing she wants to think about when she gets home is music. So, putting on a Nickelback album is a perfect way for her to escape her often rough days teaching music and just float off into a sea of droning, repetitive minutia. There’s really no other explanation I could think of.

And this may just be the funniest thing to ever happen in Baltimore that's not John Waters-related.

That’s all.